stab kill and repeat

MERRY FUCKING XMAS FROM BALI.

2009-12-24T05:16:00.000-08:00

MERRY XMAS EVERYONE. HERE I AM IN BALI ENJOYING MY XMAS WITH THE BEST COMPANY.

XXXXXX.

HOITY-TOITY.

2009-11-04T17:34:00.000-08:00

Its been 3 days now since i've not been to work. Got medical leave as i have a bad rash on me back. Catched up on some beauty sleep that has been long due friends. I missed the ramanados last night at no black tie. will kill myself the next time if i miss another show. I bet they were great although Steve is in india and they're prolly doing acoustic shows as Mel said.

My life is in a mess. Utter mess.

Watched the Golden Compass last night on DVD cz my sis has been bugging me to watch the film as she has already played it on repeat like 5 times so the verdict was it was a nice movie, seriously. Im not an avid fan of fantasy movies but the Golden Compass was WOw. No worries I'll never leave my Harry P's love. I could only be the biggest fan of Daniel R. (inserts nerdy smile).

I've been abusing my ATM card recently and thats not good cause its only the first week of the month. Bali tix price has gone up. Im in a state of confusion now. SIGHHH.

Later.

"Its a big honor being a centrefold. It's says im naked in a middle of a magazine, UNFOLD ME."

ZEN.

2009-11-03T12:06:00.000-08:00

Im having a bad allergic reaction due to perming my hair. my back is sick and ugl as fuck. sort of like rashes. It's ugly i tell ya.

I've been feeling really down lately. Just the lowest point of my life. I think i really need something, something that can tell me more to the meanings of life. Mel has helped me a lot recently with my issues, but im just afraid i could go mental some days. I should start searching for God. I havent actually prayed in years. I need to turn my life over. Start new. But i cant. Why?

I really hope that this is just a phase that will go away. I need to seriously find a cure. Havent been feeling myself lately mainly cause i've lost touch with me. I constantly think of others instead of me. I try my best to be the Good Listener but i cant seem to have anyone listening to me. Just listen. You dont even have to say a word. I really need a friend who can understand. Thank you Mel, for helping me. Although there's only so far you can go. The rest is up to me.

Dear God,

Please help me find a way.
Guide me.

I really need you.

Amen.

FOOD is for the WEAK.

2009-11-01T10:00:00.000-08:00

I had an awesome weekend. For real. Partying 3 nights in a row and playing hookie from work. Havent slept for 3 days yo. Met rad new friends! The hardings and The ramanados. AWESOME ppl i tell ya! even better after party. AND AAR was the shitzzzzzzzzzz. I'll post pix soon.

ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I GOT A FUNKY NEW HAIRDO.

FULLY BOOKED.

2009-10-28T09:41:00.000-07:00

I have never had a full schedule before, seriously. My days or should i say weekends are ALWAYS laid back. And for some reason i'll be fully booked for this whole weekend. I really hope i dont pass out when i get back to work on Monday.

Sched goes like...

29th October 09' (TODAY)- From the wee hours of 8.45am-5.45pm i'll be at the office. 5.46 onwards i will be joining mel to show some support for a local band who will be performing at Urbanattic. Show starts at 8.00pm till late. Mel booked a room at Flamingo hotel where the after party is going to be held. Will most likely be sleeping over till the next day where i head straight to work.

30th October 09'- At the office between 8.45am-4.45pm. Head home to change as Fai, Lex, Juma and Furz wants to head to La Queen (gay bar) for another clubbing session. Till late.

31st October 09'- Will be at Bukit Jalil car park from EARRRLLLY morning till late for The All American Rejects gig. Once the gig ends i've gotta straight head back home for a surprise birthday to Jansy.

1st November 09'- Jansy's BDAY. which i will definitely not be home the whole day.

2nd November 09'- BACK TO WORK. MONDAY BLUES. No rest at all yo!

BLESS ME.

SHIP OF EMOTIONS.

2009-10-21T09:12:00.000-07:00

Work is officially depressing. I spend every minute doing my job faster so that i could go home early. I hate staying back. seriously.

Recent update, just got back from malacca. TOTAL HEAPS OF FUN WITH HOMIES.

Gone are the days of summer.

CHEESY EXTRA CHEESE.

2009-10-05T10:46:00.000-07:00

Just got back from a super late hangout session with Mel. And i just got a text from her saying that she's heading out again to eat with Azfar. DAMN YOU GIRL ITS 2AM AND YOU STILL CAN EAT, wait let me rephrase that AZFAR STILL CAN EAT!
Haha had a fulfilling cheesy wedges with extra cheese of course. GOSSIPGOSSIP. And talks about how BOYS WILL ALWAYS BE BOYS. Mel is like Buddha plus Oprah = BUDPRAH! Bestest advisor who comes in peace.
HEEEEE. And to show my love for her im playing dodgeball from work tomorrow. GARRH i know, i shouldnt skip work but im fakkin tired and i need a break. A PERSONAL DAY you would say. My boss is going to kill me, literally.

Im hitting the sack in a bit. So long and Goodnight.

ALMOST OVER.

2009-10-03T23:08:00.000-07:00

GARH THE WEEKEND IS ALMOST OVER. I dread Sundays because the thought of heading back to work the next day and waiting and waiting for Friday to come up so i can enjoy my weekend and dread another Sunday. SIGHHHHZZZ.

Just to make the weekend more worth while, i'll probably be heading to bukit bintang in a bit for a karaoke session with the boys. PARAMOREEEE, the only song i can karaoke lmao. DECODE!
See you chumps later then.

TOTALLLY BACK!

2009-10-02T14:09:00.000-07:00

So if anyone ever reads this, im officially back to the blogging world.

WHY? you may ask. BECAUSE I GOT THE NET AT HOME BACK BITCHESSSS.

So current updates.

Been busy as hell with work, my attendance is doing actually very well compared to the last two months and the paycheck is making me happy! weee!

About me and Thanesh, we're doing really great as super super good friends. We do hold hands still. But everything is just going great between then both of us. I'm really content with the both of us.

I finnaly got my forearm memorial tattoo done and the results are amazing. Im glad i got Joe to be the artist. The design was his own custom which im stoked cz he's a great talented human being. Really touched that he actually made the time to come down to KL and make the time from his busy schedule in Singapore just to finish it up since it was on hold with only the outline done, but 6 months is definitely worth the wait. He is definitely the one who's gonna finish up my sleeve. It was painful as fuck as i started shivering halfway through. But Borneo hospitality beats the shit out of KL people. Did it in Sri Kembangan at one of Joe's friends place. Jan got a little wasted as he was offered vodka lmao. But i guess enough with the chit chat. Here are the end results!

Photo was taken and ripped by Joe.

HELLO, AGAIN!

2009-08-09T05:20:00.000-07:00

So here it is, Me and Thanesh have ended our 4 1/2 year relationship. But we remain good friends.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

2009-01-02T00:05:00.000-08:00

HEHHHHH HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE. TAD LATE SORRY.

APPLE OF MY EYE

2008-12-15T08:22:00.000-08:00

I only have a pendrive which has a maximum capacity of 1GB so i couldnt actually fit all the pix from bandung sighhhh. But for a change this post is gonna be about the two little apples who made it worth while.

This be Azki, short for Azkyah. She definitely lights up the room everytime. An extrovert at a young age you can say. She loves to dance. Check it out, she's actually posing for the camera y'knowww. Indonesia's next top model.

ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

This be KIKA! YAYYY! Little Kika is adorable and really arrogant. LMAO. She only wants her mom but after a few days she got comfortable and started playing with everyone. She's really smart. Can you believe it she just turned 2! and she can actually hold a conversation!! I KNOWWW. Oh and she loves to lie ._. She even lied once saying she doesnt want to play with Thanesh because they "berhantem" which means fight. It's hard to make her smile on camera but we managed to get one finally at the end of our trip! HEEE.

Thought of just sharing the joy of my new cousins.

FOOD IS MURDER.

2008-12-13T08:39:00.000-08:00

It's just been like more than a week that my mom left for Norway. She left me, Lex and Thanesh some money to last us for the whole month. As you would know it, im going broke already. My spending has been way over the top and here's the best part, i didnt even do shopping on clothes etc. My money has been spent on FFOOODD. Lotsa lotsa food. How can you regret spending on food? it's ridicilious.

I got two new games today for my DSL. Cooking mama 2 and a new game jan introduced me to similiar to Diner Dash. It's called Cake Mania! YAYYYY. Now i get to bake cakes! My mom warned me about portable game consoles. She said "YOU'RE GONNA BE ANTI-SOCIAL" and i hate to say it that she was right. ._.

SUPER TROOPER.

2008-12-11T08:31:00.000-08:00

The lifestyle im living now is probably back to the one i was living in back in 2007 where i would sleep at 5 am and get up at 2 pm.

Rio came down from Surabaya for a visit two days back and poor thing Rinne couldn't have the time to make it. His main purpose was to visit a few colleges here and around Singapore. We brought him to Taylor's at PJ and he was more or less content with it but still is searching for more colleges and most likely in SG. It was uber fun having him down, he did lost a lotta weight since the last time i saw him. I swear to God sometimes i think he and Thanesh has a "thing". You know, like a thing where they're too close you start to wonder, LMAO (JUST KIDDING). My anniversary was spent like a normal day would go but i couldnt blame him because there was just too much going on with Rio and stuff we barely remembered it was our day. But at least he took the liberty to come home a little earlier than expected.

SOO FARRR, i did manage to get the Christmas Tree today. I got mine at Carefour with all the ornaments too. You wouldn't even believe how much i spent all together. This year its going to be a Red Christmas. For the first time i have no idea what to do for Christmas, it sucks. Everything is usually always planned out but since my mom isnt around, everybody is just going around like there's no Xmas at all. I hope we'll at least have a nice dinner with a bunch of friends. But it remains to be spoken yet.

OH AND A BIG SHOUTOUT TO MR. JAN AZ RIZAL WHO'S READING MY BLOG AS IM TYPING. HE WANTS ME TO MENTION HIS NAME SO HERE IT GOES.

JAN!JAN!JAN!JAN!JAN!JAN!JAN!JAN!JAN!JAN!JAN!JAN!JAN!JAN!JAN!JAN!JAN!JAN!

This entry should be dedicated to him.

Back to my Chirstmas story, i was thinking of a barbeque or maybe just roast chicken hahaha. i cant afford turkey for now.

Would someone be kind enough to sponsor a good ol' turkey?

DOOD.

2008-12-06T00:34:00.000-08:00

Had lunch at Oldtown with Drake, it was good but i didn't really have the appetite to finish up my Hor Fun. Was gonna wait at home for Jan till Drake said we shouldn't because he's a "malay" and he will definitely be late. I was like "ARENT YOU A MALAY TOO!" he replied "EXCUSE ME IM FROM THE STATES" .___________.

Fai slept over last night so the three of us ended up sleeping at the living room, my back aches now.
And then i thought Fai would keep me company because he starts work late today but instead i get my sister and fai waking me up to have breakfast "SMOKING" (thats what they call breakfast) and after a cig they left for work. I asked Fai why didnt he want to stay longer, he said it was because my sister was gonna take a taxi to work so he was gonna tag along (saving). major .____.

I was thinking of sending in my explanation letter to Starbucks today but the idiot computer has no microsoft word so i cant open my Damn file. i'll just send it in tomorrow since its the last day.

Thanesh is not here. He went to Singapore for Angels & Airwaves. Which BTW im pissed off because our Anniversary is on Monday, and he's coming back on Monday night. MAJOR WHAT THE FUDGE. Every year he does something to piss me off. Buttt on the brighter side he left an early anni gift which is a brand new cell phone!
yay!!! i'll post up pix when i have the time. But it saddens me that he said he had to overdo the gift i got him recently which was a cell phone too. IS GIFTS ALL ABOUT OVERDOING EACH OTHER?! so let me know ppl how the hell am i gonna overdo a phone??
i was just thinking of getting him a beetlejuice figurine since he wants it so bad. It'll definitely cost less than what he got for me but WHATEVERRR LAHHHHHHHHHHH.

So my lovely friends im in MAJOR HELL FRUSTRATION, SADNESS AND ANGER.

KTHXBYE,

FREE ARSE.

2008-12-02T08:47:00.000-08:00

I've gotten a show cause for termination letter from Starbucks, which means i have to submit an explanation letter explaining my absence when i took that emergency leave for Bandung. I know, it's ridiculous. If my letter is strong and firm then i can start working again, if not im completely out of starbucks. So yeah, i have seven days to submit this letter.

Mother left for Norway at 8pm just now, her flight is at 11.30pm. Im praying for her to have a safe flight. It's kinda bittersweet.

A. No parental guardian at home.

B. Christmas without her, and her not being here for a whole month.

So here i am at the internet cafe stuck with Mel, Lex, Jan, Drake and Thanesh. Goons :D:D:D.

We were at Oldtown just now and Drake mixed water, soy sauce, cili padi and spring onions. I had a sip and i've wanted to throw up ever since.

I NEED TO

2008-11-27T08:29:00.000-08:00

BITCH.

yes, i need to bitch... about work. but i wont ramble here. i need someone to talk to, but i need someone to talk to who understands the starbucks standards.

anyway, i got back from taste of chaos to have found out that i was gonna fly to bandung! so here i am. just got back from bandung a few days back and i miss it already! i niss everything. for the first time i got to meet my baby cousin kika, got to have a nice family reunion and made some friends on the way. i hope to post the pix up soon enough.

TO GADIS: i have given ibu the suitcase full of surprises. the kids loved it!! ibu loved the gifts! oh and you're in deep trouble because she has been trying to text you but you aint replying!! haha!

i will update the next post with details of singapore and bandung.

see you soon.

LET ME TAKE YOU DOWN CAUSE IM GOING TO..

2008-11-06T08:00:00.000-08:00

STRAWBERRY FIELDS.

IN A FEW HOURS, SINGAPORE. IN A DAY TASTE OF FUCKING CHAOS.

SHING!

2008-11-05T04:51:00.000-08:00

Im tired of everything, seriously. EVERYBODY TAKES EVERYTHING TOO PERSONALLY, that they forget the person they are.
sighhhh.

two days to singapore, something worth to be excited about.

I AM THE WALRUS. KOO KOO KACHUUU.

HOHO.

2008-10-18T12:21:00.000-07:00

ADDICTED TO....

THE TING TINGS.

fucking genius.

IF YOU'RE A BIRD, IM A....CUNT.

2008-10-07T23:36:00.000-07:00

I have a good feeling about work next week. I see changes in me, hopefully good changes and you wanna know why?? because i miss working already. And i know its for the best. I think i might go full-time in december if everything goes right. I just want to perform well and my coffee master test is on the 24th if im not mistaken. I've taken it last week but failed miserably. Although i can still remember a few wrong questions i answered last paper so i still have a chance on passing the next one. WISH ME LUCK SUCKAS.

REHAB FOR DUMMIES.

2008-10-07T07:47:00.000-07:00

THIS BLOG AINT DEAD, YET.

last update since april. i know i know, no excuses whatsoever BUT its not like i have a connection at home or anything. its screwed up, srsly.

anyway, im just gonna give you a brief update but im not giving details just yet because im stuck in an internet cafe and the update would take me a whole month to type.

ONE, im not living in taman permata anymore. recently moved to this place in Setapak.

TWO, believe it or not im still surviving a job as a barista and it has been six months so im really happy with the outcome that i dont have to strive looking for other jobs because im happy with this one. Just so if you want to visit me i work at Starbucks Great Eastern Mall, off jalan ampang. so come visit if you have the time. BUTTTTT here's the thing. i've been suspended from work for a week because i've been taking too much medical leave. YESS thats a whole other story that i dont want to go into details. SO bottom line is im OFF for a week.

THREE, recent shows NFG for singfest 08. long amazing story.

FOUR, my hair sucks so bad.

FIVE, Taste Of Chaos in November, cant wait.

SIX, Selamat Hari Raya for those who are celebrating.

SEVEN, im not dead.

:D

DINDA.

2008-04-17T00:16:00.000-07:00

Wah im so damn happy lah. Met Gwen after a loonnggg time! miss her so damn much lah! and she looks so different now lah!! got new haircut some more so pretty! aihhh. it was nice talking to her and i met her childhood friend Ling also. So nice lah the both of them. HEHE. Gwen is the first myspace friend i had whom which im close with like a bitch and a male hound dog HAHAHAHA. DONT MAKE SENSE I KNOWWW. I LOVE YOU DINDA. ASK LING TO MAKE ME A NICE NECKLACE OKAYYYY. hehe.

anywhooo, here i am in klcc now ALONE. my friends ar sometimes useless. today is my only off day and they taking so long to meet me. say want to watch movie la this la that la and now fai said he wants to go petaling street to look for a bag. dammit, i'll be stuck here for hours alone! but nvm nvm i got my iced green tea latte and im enjoying every second of it! new favorite drink. i could've asked for my employee discount but i thought twice. didnt want any of the barista's to be asking too much question about work cause its my offday! and i want no relations to work whatsoever although i am sitting down in starbucks having a drink hahaha. THE BARISTA DAMN THE FUNNY LA! i ordered my drink then she was trying to initiate conversation with me but you know what she asked me! EH NICE TATTOO, REAL KA??

WTFFFFFFFFFF! takde la sticker je! walao weh. what a way to start topic. i laughed and said yes lah!! i dont know if she was acting stupid or memang stupid hahaha!

OH YEAH BTW i started working in starbucks again. so pls visit me in Great Eastern Mall. i've got loads to bitch about work but i wont do it in this entry.

this is me and dinda like friggin two years back i think. damn. we look like twins. we need a new pic!!

TO MEGAH AND GADIS: IMISSYOUSOMUCH.

EARTH HOUR.

2008-03-29T10:10:00.000-07:00

what was i doing on earth hour today?????

having dinner with family at home with all the lights on! muahahha. i suck in saving the earth. honestly to tell you, one hour saving the earth? no point lah. you can do it everyday before you go to sleep.

horse the band tomorrow. buh bye!

CORPORATE LIFE.

2008-03-24T23:26:00.000-07:00

So i finally made it to menara maybank. Stuck here with jan and a bunch of corporate people living random corporate lives. waiting for fai to get off work so we can get a free cuppa coffee or maybe a caramel cream frappucino would do. jan's on his psp and here i am updating you with the random est things going on in my daily life. thanesh is going to finish class soon and meet us up here in a bit. mother cooked today, its been a while since i had her cooking. t'was yummy chicken and potatoes. sister is at work now serving them people coffee. i seriously was thinking and putting my feet in all these people's shoe. living the life with fine armani suits and drinking starbucks everyday. and here i am trying to make a living to wear fine black shirts haha. at some point i just see myself having babies and being a typical boring housewife. but if my life were to turn around i'd be having babies and bringing them on tour while i manage iron maiden or something. lmao. dream on.

TWITCHING IN RESPONSE.

2008-03-24T11:17:00.000-07:00

evidently when i thought i was going to have a bad day today i was wrong.. due to the cicak incident, i prayed hard for like 20 minutes last night before heading to bed. and surprisingly nothing bad really happened today. good things happened actually. was at home the whole day watching movies with thanesh and my mom told me to head to giant supermarket and grab some tid bits so it'll make the movie watching experience more fulfilling. i was like a monster at the store. grabbing a tomato flavored mr. potato chip and also some cuttle fish snack. yes, i think anyone who knows me better knows that im a junk food junkie, i cut that habit out a few months ago till today when mother told me to buy some. damn. its going to be hard to stop again. was watching 30 days of night but fell asleep halfway. watched resident evil extinction after that. and later at night watched juno. was my first time watching juno and before that i heard a lot of good critics about the movie. i liked it, it was different and unique. i recommend all to go watch juno although its not at your nearest theater. go get the dvd or something. you wont regret your 10 bucks spent.

oh and had another hangout session with jan and fai today minus ho. was a rather interesting session because we were laughing and laughing hard i could've sworn my tummy purged lmao.
so yeah since i didnt make it to menara maybank today to visit sister and fai at work, i'll probably head there tomorrow. might be bringing the lappie so i should be online in the evening.

oh and some good news, my maid is finally out. and i mean for good. i've been trying to get rid of her for the past year and finally my mom made the cut. she moved out yesterday. i seriously think she is the most ungrateful a hole. to those who know, you know how a pie hole she can be. so yeah she's finally out and my home actually feels like a home, because i feel that my mom has been giving shelter to freeloaders these days. and she finally came to her senses. to actually think of it the kitchen looks a lot neater and tidier. mother was busy the whole day rearranging the whole kitchen. she was disappointed actually at how the state of the kitchen was. and i strongly agree.

till the next entry.

BUNNIES.

2008-03-23T11:50:00.000-07:00

The connection is being an anal bitch because uncle arild is downloading like 10 movies at once downstairs, ugh. He should start up a piracy business for the amount of movies he's illegally downloading.

HERE'S THE DEALIO SINCE I WENT OFF TO THE AIRPORT.

Bali-

was fucking amazing. never seizes to amaze me every trip i make. family was there of course, that was the most important thing. i miss megah and gadis now more than ever. was there for almost a month, being on a budget trip and all. rinne and rio were awesome company to be added to the adventure. the villa is halfway done now, stopped halfway due to some issues. hopefully the project will be up and running once my mom goes back. christmas was amazing. spent dinner with family and bar hopping all night long in lovina yo. 2 weeks in lovina and the other two weeks in kuta, i apologize if theres no pix posted. got to catch nidji live in kamasutra, great band to watch live, i recommend. all and all, i loved it, i love my family. praying for the end of this year, another trip to bali perhaps.

Work-

i quit the office job i had in February, was working there for only 2 weeks till shit came up so i switched the typical corporate office job to working in montessori, children's house. yeap, im working with children now and to be exact toddlers. they're super mighty adorable. and not to mention with their blonde hairs and all. the pays a minimum wage but i aint complaining. i start work at 8.30am and go home at 2pm, and ever since i started in march, im on break now woo! school holidays and puclic holidays off. we'll see how far i can make it with this one because if any of you know me better, im not good with jobs. im praying for the best though.
a minimum wage is a hard life. i need lots of things haha as you know. but yeah. as far as im concerned, im as happy as ever working. im actually having fun at work.

Bleeding Through-

the show was brutal i tell ya, but i made it alive. sweet sacrifice. got to meet the band and they were nice. they loved malaysia which is surprising. you can check out the pix on my myspace or friendster cause with a connection like this it'll take me a decade to upload a picture. the crowd turnout was disappointing to be honest, i expected more. the opening bands sucked balls cause as you know i dont support local music give or take the good ones. im okay with them and all but seriously i've never heard any local musicians that pleases my eardrums. so watching them take 3 hours before bleeding through is just wasting my time. arheum revert was the best out of all if you want to ask my opinion. bleeding through bleeding through. amazing live. amazing.. although nothing beats avenged for me but yeah. a waste if you weren't there to experience a hardcore show.

Coming soon, Horse the band and Comeback kid.

Okayyy, back to reality and today. im supposed to give sister and fai a visit at work tomorrow. but yeah an hour ago something disgusting and horrifying happened to me. felt like taking a shit so i rushed to the toilet and opened the door till something fell on my lips, God knows i thought it was a moth or something till i brushed it off and to my terror it was a damn stupid fucking insane lizard! yes lizard as in CICAK! fucking shit, its the most terrible feeling after i saw the lizard fell from my lips to the floor, all my berak like went up and didnt want to come out anymore!
and i was trembling in disgust. i fucking hate lizards. while i was in fear of that disgusting feeling on my lips my mom was in fear because of superstition. a lizard falling on you is supposed to be a bad sign. im terrified as of typing this hoping i dont jinx anything. so yeah my plans for tomorrow is going to be canceled in fear of something bad that could happen to me. in ho's words quote "im not superstitious, but im cautious" end quote. mother told me to pray tonight for guidance or whatever so im gonna do it although im not the praying type. i gotta ask Him for forgiveness because i dont want to be the type who prays only when im in pain or in need of something. but yeah i just want to pray for the safety of my family. nothing else.

Oh and i will be moving soon. mother sold the house. it's too big for us and the maintenance cost too much for just the 3 of us in the house, wait 4 including Thanesh. we're looking for a smaller place, not an apartment because mother says the furniture wont fit. it'll definitely be a smaller house. yes a smaller house. but not to worry it wont be too far from where im living now. i need convenience. i need easy access to public transportation although we'll be getting a car but i dont want to risk being far away from immediate transportation.

oh well i think i've said enough for one night. my eyes are dry, i need sleep now. BED HERE I COME. ciao!

Hope you're all happy with an update! :D

DEAD!

2008-03-05T00:06:00.000-08:00

WHAT RIP, RIP!
IM NOT DEAD YET K. THE BLOG IS A LITTLE BIT DEAD BUT IT'LL BE BACK UP SOON I PROMISE. I HAVENT HAD THE TIME TO UPDATE SINCE DECEMBER. I APOLOGIZE. TRUST ME THERE'S A LOT TO UPDATE THAT BY THE END OF THE ENTRY MY FINGERS WILL BE NUMB, SO PLS BE PATIENT.

SPANK YOU CHUMS!

BYEBYE

2007-12-13T19:50:00.000-08:00

IM OFF TO THE AIRPORT!

WILL MISS YOU GUYS.

IF I DIDNT GET A CHANCE TO WISH,

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

LOVE, ME.

BALI TOMORROW!

2007-12-12T18:58:00.000-08:00

An update before i leave tomorrow. Where should i start.. hmmm. Oh yes, me and the boyf celebrated our anniversary recently. And it was us being together for 3 years! I know! i cant believe it myself that we have been together that long. I should win a trophy lmao!
It was sweet because he was supposed to surprise me on that day but the night before i couldnt tahan okay! so i used my trick which was being sad all day and saying "surely esok nothing special going to happen" HAHA and he fell for it! so he told me that we were going for a nice dinner. He brought me to Chilli's. YAYYYYY, i love chilli's okay! he knows that. It was awesome! And the best part he got me the smoking area hehe. Because it was our anniversary i was treated like a Queen okay! I could do whatever i want and still get away with it. The dinner was amazing, he was amazing. And then for the finale he surprised me with chocolate molten! and he actually paid for it! i told him we could just tell its like my birthday or something then we could get it for free but he refused and payed like 20 bucks for that small but yummy brownies+ice cream. Oh and the day before he gave me my anniversary gift which was a..... PIERCING! haha, yeap he paid for my labret. I thank God that he brought me someone special and annoying in my life haha! After chilli's. is the best anniversary gift ever... MEETING GERARD WAY. I KNOWWWW, we waited at the hotel after dinner and after hours of waiting that night, G-way we got. I wont go into details because i have much to update on.

Vinnie(Thanesh's brother) has been in kl for a week now and he just left today. It was a sad departure for us. We've gotten so close over the past months that it was a sad thing when he had to leave. He's beginning to bully alexis now :D. He left kl the happiest man alive after meeting with frank iero and getting him to write "I AM A GRAVEYARD" on his shirt. It was amazing.

As for My Chemical Romance, It has definitely scored top notch on my list after FFAF. Meeting them is they cherry on top of a sundae for this year. The show was beautiful. Gerard is a great showman, and so is the band. We were at the venue at 6am. Nothing beats front row baby.
Sending them off to sg was super sweet because Ray remembered us at the show and so did frank. Frank is the sweetest, we at least spent like 3mins with him. THATS LONG OKAY. Waving goodbye to them when they boarded their bus to KLIA was sad. It was finally over, but too soon. Sigh.

For pix of the show, go to my Myspace. I posted a blog there on the show. Sorry because i was too lazy to post another one here.

On a lighter note, I'LL BE LEAVING FOR BALI TOMORROW! I cant fucking wait! I spoke to Megah and Gadis last night and my excitement grew taller! hahaha!
They'll be leaving to jakarta today! Safe journey GAH+DIS. We'll be meeting them for xmas in bali. Im gonna spend time with the boyf and show him the indonesian way of life :D.
IM SO EXCITED I CAN BARELY BREATHE. I HAVE TO START PACKING! My mom told us not to bring too much things! But damnnn what about all my clothes! They're important. I need variety. I have this habit everytime i travel away, be it just for 3 days or longer. I'll bring fuck loads of clothes! And i know myself im not gonna wear all of them. But i need the variety to choose over what i want to wear, i need a whole closet with me. As big as Narnia.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,

I'll miss my friends though,

Mel, when you go to phillipines make sure azfar doesnt say the same thing over and over again to phillipinos. And make bloody hell sure he doesnt say "putang ina"! Love ya babe!

Fai, make sure you dont stick at the zoo okay, get your psp and have a great holiday!

Ana, im sorry i couldnt make it to seremban. But i promise you, when i get back my ass will be there k.

Gwen my dinda, sad we didnt get to meet but i'll miss you to death! we meet when i get back k. Oh and is jin coming to malaysia?

And to everyone who reads this , i will miss you all berry berry mucho.

BALI HERE I COME!

PRODUCTIVE COOKING.

2007-11-27T10:35:00.000-08:00

Im so proud of myself today!

you know why???

you wanna know why???

i'll tell you why...

My darn maid decided to cook tak sedap today. Was pissed off. She cooked bloody IKAN KELI. It was disgusting i tell ya, even if i wanted to eat i couldnt because apparently ikan keli is the major fish that causes ghout, so i didnt want to suffer okay.
As usual if she does these kinds of shit i'll usually just eat out, BUT NOT TODAY!
i friggin cooked HAHAHAHA. So damn the rajin dont you think?
HAHAHA didnt cook much but i managed to cook thanesh and myself a burger. I told thanesh to go get some bread from the nearest kedai runcit while i whip something up on the stove.

In the end, i managed to cut some lettuce, tomatoes, onions and voila!
LMAO it turned out damn sedap! i can even open up a ramly burger stall now.

Im so proud of myself i should make myself my own award. I'll put the trophy in between my toes. Thank you very much for reading this bullcrap.

I DONT STEAL, I RIP OFF.

2007-11-27T10:30:00.000-08:00

This post is for melody astrid cross.

I kinda forgot the baby names that i ripped off from you.

CARE TO REMIND ME PLS.

KILL THE MUSIC

2007-11-25T10:06:00.000-08:00

beautiful.

I've been drowning myself in laughter for 3 days watching ETID's dvd 'shit happens'

I've devoted myself to become keith buckley for the next week. The funniest dude you'll ever watch is keith. I've found a new love obsession for him. He is AMAZING. Southern rock is just so in HAHAHA. When they were in warped tour he told the fans to like make a circle pit and keep on going in circles till the nachos come flying in and they all make a whirlwind and go up to space, LIKE WHAT THE FUCKKK HHAHAHAHA.

Amazing.

So yeah, im gonna get my nose pierced again on his behalf. hehe. Oh and im gonna get an xray done tomorrow morning. sucks.

BE MERRY YALL.

2007-11-25T09:22:00.000-08:00

XMAS IS COMING REALL SOON.

So i've decided this season to do DIY xmas cards! YES ILL BE MAKING THEM MYSELF TO MAKE IT MORE SPECIAL. I wont just buy one of the market k, it's just gonna untung the bloody bookstore HAHAHAHA. So yeah, i've gotten all the materials.

The base of the card will be a black cardboard kinda thing cause you know, black is like oh sooo coooll! hahaha. Plus i've got like two colored papers which is red and green cause like DUHHH thats the xmas colors! muahahah. So yeah, it's not gonna be like the killer coolest shit ever but hey at least im taking some time to actually make some for friends. TAPIII ADE LA BABI PUNYE KAWAN *cough cough melody cough cough* DEGIL GILE NAK BAGI FULL ADDRESS! Anywhooo, i'll get her address if its the last thing i do.

So ANYONE and i mean ANYONE who wants an xmas card sent to your home, be it you muslim or hindu or buddist it doesnt really matter. (IF YOU RECEIVE AN XMAS CARD IT DOESNT MEAN YOU MURTAD OKAYYY) Most prolly it'll be your first xmas card! and you're definitely gonna remember the first person who sent you one, ME! ALICIA CONSTANCE DANKER YES ME! So join the spirit!

Please msg me your full home address be it by friendster or myspace or even email.

alicia.danker@gmail.com

PEACE YALL, MUAXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.

FUNNY SHIET.

2007-11-24T10:54:00.000-08:00

Fai is bugging me by not telling me where he is. Im like being so nice okayy asking him where he is and stuff. Being Fairul who wants to be smart and all, i asked him

Alicia: Weh ko katne skang? permata ke melawati? bgtau je la. aku sangap dowh. Bgtau la cpt kang aku bagi penampar!

Fairul:

penampar??
xtkot pn bg la...
bknnye kna pn..
ko kt ne aku kt ne?
hahahah
ko btol nk tau aku kt ne?
hmmm...
ko jgn bgtau org lain tau..
aku sebenarnnye...
kt...
area 56...
shhh...

WHAT THE HELL????

ITS CALLED AREA 51! MEMANDAI JE NAK TAMBAH NOMBOR! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

LOSING INTEREST.

2007-11-21T09:23:00.000-08:00

It's been a while now since i've touched any sort of camera. A few days back was the first after a few months since i touched and actually used my fisheye. It's sad really but i just dont have the time and money. It cost a lot just to process the film. I was thinking of starting my own dark room to process my own film but to do so it also takes a lot of expenditure.
I had this thought last week when i was selling my lappie that i was also gonna sell my fisheye, i know that the worst thought someone could ever have but i really needed to make some money since im so broke. But i don't know something inside of me was saying DONT. That camera is the only thing that makes me happy, so i didn't sell it. Would be a waste too because it just had so many memories. SO THANK GOD KNOWS WHAT I DIDNT SELL IT. Maybe im not cut out for photography but heck, ugly pix makes the best. Im happy with what i take so i hope i can just stop the bullcrap and start reactivating myself to take pix. If anyone out there loves me! you know xmas is coming... so ahemm a holga please? or a horizon kompakt? it'll make me really happy and i swear i'll love you forever and im not just saying that. I WILL.

CHRONIC PAIN.

2007-11-21T09:06:00.000-08:00

So my ass still hurts from the fall three weeks back. I'm gonna get an xray this Saturday to find out whats causing the pain because trust me i tried everything from a massage, stretching (yes mel i HAVE been stretching) to medication. Nothing is working. I still suffer from sleeping straight and sitting down straight. I cant even lean my back on a chair this 3 weeks because the weight pressure presses against the pain. GAHHH Melody totally embarrassed me when she wrote and POSTED PIX about my great FALL. It didn't bother me that she posted it up but it just reminded me on that horrific day when it happened. Wish me all the best!

Go read mel's blog to get details on what happened.

DEPRESSION HITS.

2007-11-19T13:23:00.000-08:00

I've been so depressed lately i cant figure my life out. God knows why i am but yeah. Too many things to think about and do yet something is stopping me from doing so.
My 3rd year anniversary is coming up. YEAP it's gonna be 3 years for me and Thanesh. Im just so puzzled on what to do or get for him this year. I thought everything would be easy but since the MCR thing clashed with the date im confused as ever. I'll try to figure something out. Thanesh got us the tix for MCR! Im super stoked. Oh and, our flight to Bali is confirmed. I sold my laptop just to get flight tix for Thanesh. Was quite bummed but yeah it's gonna be all worth it. Cant wait for xmas in Bali.

MOTHER, HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?

2007-11-06T09:39:00.000-08:00

Wee, mother is finally back in kl and i missed her much. It's so great that she's back but im back to my old lifestyle with a curfew and getting permission to go out. The best part is she brought back a carton of marlboro's which i grinned when she took it out. I knicked a few box from her and today when she came in my room she saw the box and asked me "YOU TOOK MY MIGARETTEH?" she has this weird habit of calling things in her own words mind you. Example: when i was like 5 she calls me princess because i was the youngest and probably because she loves me more than my sis muahaha, anywho as the years went on she made "princess" to "enchess" and a few years later she just called me "chess" and sometimes "chesschess". I hope it still has the same meaning. Until now she randomly calls me that, but she also paham in front of my friends she calls me Alicia to save me the embarassment lol. What she calls my sister you ask, "FATTY" mean yes but in a lovingly way. Also through the years it's known now as "ATTY". Now she just calls her kakak and me jojo. Its the indonesian thingy to call your oldest child kakak (also practiced in Malaysia) and to call the youngest adik, but my mom told us when i was young my darn sister couldnt pronounce "adik", she just kept saying jojo jojo jojo and from then on my parents has called me jojo. HAHA only family calls me that. Some of my friends know about the jojo name but only a few. So i guess now the whole net will know! dammit haha. Well EVERYONE STILL HAS TO CALL ME ALICIA, LIS, ALICE etc. Okay on other news, my mom said she'll be selling the house soon. Once she has sold the house she's gonna get me and my sister an apartment while she's away in Bali. She gonna be making a living there while sending me and my sister money every month. She cant maintain the house because it's too big and maintanace fee every month is very high. I'm glad she made a wise decision because well yeah, she's barely here. It's only me and my sister in the house with a maid. Getting a smaller place would be much easier for her and us. I think she's a little sad that she's always gone and away from us for such a long period of time and she think me and my sis feels a little neglected, but honestly we dont. We understand very much why she has to be away with my stepdad and we know she loves us very much. Two days ago she indirectly tried to pursuade us to move to Bali with her. She was saying that Bali is such a beautiful place and all and its nice to live there but then she said that it's like a kampung there and me and my sis are like city girls haha. We wouldnt last a month living there like that. Times like these i really savor all the moments i have with her. I regret the last time when i felt that parents just made our lives a living hell. They dont people! they just do whats best for you and in time i guess you'll understand all of that. LOVE YOUR MOTHERS! You need their guidance through life! Yes they give you a hard time now, but know it'll all good intentions. I love my mother, she's everything to me. I'm gonna live life to make her happy. I want to give back to her everything she has given me. In time.. she will no longer have to suffer to make ends meet. Im gonna get a good job and send her on vacation around the world. Give her a house and car. Give her cute grandkids and have a cup of coffee while talking about the past and laughing at some silly mistakes i did in the past. Cheers.

SAKIT PONGGONG.

2007-11-01T11:18:00.000-07:00

My ass has been hurting like fuck this two days, i cant sit properly and when i sleep it has to be sideways. Here's the lowdown on why my ass has been hell. Two days ago Mel and Azfar ajak us to go to Titiwangsa. Just for random walks and laughs and also taking pix with the eye on Malaysia shit which looks so damn small up close. Disappointedly as i was on how small it looks like we were just walking around the whole Titiwangsa and we saw some cool playgrounds there. Childish as i am, i ran for the "cool looking" slide. The whole slide was made out of concrete and it was steep as hell. Being the stupid girl that i am i slided down without control, as i was going fast i lost control of the speed that i was sliding down and BOOM i landed, not on my feet. I landed proudly on my ass. The moment that happened i saw my whole life flashing right before me, i couldn't move i a bit. Scared that i would be paralyzed, the bongok Alexis and Mel was laughing their ass off. I shouted in agony with the pain going through my brain. My whole ass was numb as hell. Can you just imagine landing on pure concrete on the bone at the middle of your ass (sorry i don't know whats the bone called). So thats the whole lowdown on it. I cant sit properly and get up from the chair without feeling that pulling pain on my ass. I cant even bend down to grab something cause it'll hurt like hell. Mel told me to do some stretching so that the muscle wont be stiff, she even showed me how to do some stretching. Being the lazy person that i am i ignored her advice and now i suffer the consequences. I hope it heals soon.

On the brighter side my mother will be back from bali soon! i don't know exactly when because she refuses to tell us. She's so funny lar, my sis texted her asking her when she will be arriving because as we know its supposed to be tomorrow. She replied "IT'S A SURPRISE".
I was like WTF? if you didn't know i don't like surprises. It's better if you tell me and i'll just pretend like i didn't know heee. Oh well. I still have a feeling she'll be back tomorrow. YIPEE.

Oh My Chemical Romance will be performing in KL on the 9th of dec. I cant fucking wait!!!
I KNOWWW, i said that FFAF would be the last show for 07, but hell i cant resist. I take it all back. The price for the show is blood sucking okay. RM323 just for front row. Damn cheebye!
But i guess it's gonna be worth every penny. It's MCR la weh. I dont want to be one of those mainstream bimbos but yeah im there for the music. This is just the icing on the cake man.
Gadis wants me to go for the Singapore show but i'll try my best. LOVE YOU DISS.

LIVING LIKE AN OWL.

2007-10-29T14:04:00.000-07:00

This past two weeks has been hella awesome. I got a chance to meet up with me old mates since primary school and all of us have been inseparable ever since. I have been nocturnal the entire time where im awake hanging out with them from 12am to 5am and sleep at 6am waking up at 5pm. A very bad habit mind you. The hangout sessions are taking up so much of my sleep time but hell, i dont care.

Finally, we went for drinking at a place near genting klang which was a bust because they played the music louder than the people. We could barely talk with all the chinese music blasting in our ears. They even played the Chinese version for one of the cranberries song which i cant recall the title. sick. But the beer was good and cheap, although we missed the happy hour.

Anywhoo, let me take some time to introduce you to my old pals.

First up we have Mr Prashant Rao, who when he speaks is like he's using a mic and its louder than singfest. Next up we have the most adorable Mr Liau Jian Chin, the coolest chinese but doesnt actually act like one who is cute and always smiling. Last but not least we have non other than Mr Abel Mark Stevenson who's dick is always itching for girls HAHA kidding. Of course not forgetting Dhanya and Melody (which is i always see and they actually keep contact with me.)

They are the best but of course i will not forgive them for always calling us like six months once. This two weeks have been the most hangout comparing two years. Funny. Car rides all the way to Genting and Port Dickson with them will always be memorable. Although they will be driving at the speed of 200km/h, seriously. No joke.

IN OTHER NEWS, i just changed my hair color muahaha. The mother will be back soon from Bali, wouldn't want her to be disappointed with my hair so i dyed it a darker color. I bought this dye which was supposed to be GLOWING RED. But the aftermath was PURPLE! Gosh, but it looks pretty cool to me, tell me what you think.

I just took this pic like a few mins ago. Not all so clear but you get the idea of how it looks like now. I was going for the Hayley look in the crushcrushcrush video, but too bad it didnt turn out red as it said it would be. But hell it looks awesome purple!
Will take a better pic soon.

Im really tired now. Guess i should head to bed in awhile. I think Melody will be coming over for breakfast, i guess before i leave i'll post up some pix from tonight.

drink and be merry pls. Oh and that's the infamous Abel in pink and Liau smiling widely.

where's prashant you ask.

There you go. He doesnt like taking pictures so this was the best shot i got of him without him knowing lol.

Surprisingly Prashant and my Thanesh have become the best of friends.

Funny that the both of them were pointing in different directions.

Darling has a batcave in his nostril. I, for one need some eyebag serum.

I'll call it a night.

XOXO.

VACA.

2007-10-02T11:46:00.000-07:00

OFF TO GENTING IN A FEW HOURS. BE BACK ON THURS.

TAGGED.

2007-09-26T12:56:00.001-07:00

I was browsing through some bloggers and i thought it'd be fun if we play TAG.
Well it just means whoever comes to my blog and reads this YOU HAVE ALREADY BEEN TAGGED, soo here's what you have to do.

4 things that scare me:
Death.
Clowns.
My house, it's creepy okehh!

God.

4 people who make me laugh:
BUBU.

ALEXIS, she does lame jokes!

FAI.

MYSELF.

4 things i love:
Eating.
Shopping, when i have the money.
Junk food, mmmm.
Biting.

4 things i hate:
Racism.
Malaysia, generally.
My boobs.
Thugs.

4 things i don't understand:
Why God took away my Dad.
Why this country is spending 30 million on loser malaysia astronauts when they can be feeding people with that noney.
Why Ugly Betty is the no.1 TV show.
Why the padang's nasi lemak is soo the sedap!

4 things on my desk:
I dont have a desk, sadly.

4 things i'm doing right now:
Typing.
Placebo moments.
Surfing the net.
Downloading music.

4 things i want to do before i die:
Lots of things really,
Go to all my favorite shows around the world.
Travel everywhere.
Get married.
Live happily with my husband, kids and family.

4 simple things to describe my personality:
I'm a sloth.
I'm a bum
I'm lovable.
I'm just average.

4 things i can't do:
draw.
sing.
act.
pee standing up.

I TAG EVERYONE WHO READS THIS!

SEVENTEEN.

2007-09-26T12:29:00.001-07:00

One of the best from ladytron.

they only want you when you're seventeen,
when you're twenty-one, you're no fun,
they take a polaroid and let you go,
say they let you know, so come on.

Now that, my friend. Explains the 21st century. KTHNXBYE.

MOONCAKE FESTIVAL.

2007-09-26T07:48:00.000-07:00

I'm not a Buddist but yesterday we spent our night celebrating the mooncake festival with Ju Leong and Sophia at my place. It was a night filled with candles and lights i tell ya.

Here's some pix from last night.

this is how our front porch looked like after it was filled with them lanterns and candles. beautiful, i know.

four colorful lanterns filled up the front gate with candles on top of it.

oh and the scary girl at the background is me! im trying to lick fire hoping it doesnt burn my tongue.

the pink lantern is a real cutie.

this one was taken by Alexis. Good angle.

YOURS TRULY.

I pretty much amused myself last night by the fact that Alexis burned a couple of lanterns while trying to light them up. Hilarious much? And no im not joking. I have proof.

Ladies and Gentlemen, there you go.

It was funny though because before we lit the lanterns we had ordered in some pizza and we also bought soft drinks. Alexis was taking a picture of us during dinner and everyone held their glasses high, so i told them to PRETEND YOU'RE DRUNK.

It looks like i was the only one wasted!

Cheers to mooncakes and sex!

FITNESS ALWAYS FIRST.

2007-09-22T14:39:00.000-07:00

My temporary gym membership at fitness first has officially expired! dammit and i was just about to lose some fucking weight. Yes, this past week has been me and melody heading to the gym to go and get our dream body. Although i missed like 3 days in that whole week! but i really felt like i lost weight. 1 or 2 kg's prolly.

Girls night out has officially started on Brad's bday haha. weird. Because of course there were guys there. But we had a fun night. I dont have pix taken on that day but you can head down to melody's blog to check the pix out.

Was watching The Used DVD that the boyfriend bought in HMV at singapore. Was a really awesome DVD. The whole thing was live at Vancouver. Crowd was fucking wild. I wish they would come down and play a live show! but not now!! Please come like next year or something cause im flat broke now and i really wanna see you live! Playing the classic Box of Sharp Objects.
I still remember when bubu sent me Blue & Yellow through my email. We had just started dating then and i was in tears listening to it. Would be a really memorable show for the both of us. I remember bubu writing to me the few lines from Box of.. I fell in love with him head over heels. <3<3 I cant imagine screaming to their songs if they ever come.

It's our time to shine through the down
Glorified by what is ours
We've fallen in love
We've fallen in love
It was the best idea I ever had

On another note. My lappie has begun to hate me. My mozilla isnt working and so is my explorer. FUCK! I'll prolly have to go and check at the shop or something but here's the thing, i left my fucking warranty card at singapore. IM SCREWED. This takes money! And thats something i dont have for now!! SOMEONE DONATE! its for a good cause.

stolen from aeona.

2007-09-19T20:34:00.000-07:00

My stupid lappie refuses to work! and so here i am using bubu's one.

I stole this from Aeona. Was really interesting to see how un malaysian one could get. Im only like half malaysian. Still not proud of myself, i know i can be fully non malaysian.

Congratulations Alicia Danker, you are 65% not Malaysian.

That means you're as Malaysian as...

Guy Sebastian !

How Un-Malaysian Are You?

Guy Sebastian has fugly hair. The only memory he has of Malaysia is Nasi Lemak. Idiot. To all parents to be, i highly recommend you not to name your kid GUY. I find it to be a horrible name for a human being. I mean, name your pet puppy Guy not your kid! We've all watched Lady and the Tramp. Guy Sebastian is probably the tramp who doesnt get the ladies. Especially with that Hair. Did he drop his Hair dryer in the bathtub or something cause the hair is a MISTAKE.

And there's this weird noise outside my house that sounds like a T-Rex or some dinosaur. Really freaked me out till i looked out of my window and it was the stupid garbage truck!
Cant they pick up Garbage in complete silence?!

BADDAY.

2007-09-19T20:15:00.000-07:00

I woke up in a state of melancholy this morning. Had a terrible "nightmare" as you would call it. Dreamed something really unpleasant and i never want to go through that again. I'm not gonna reveal what i dreamed off because it'll just make you think i'm this insecure bitch trying to hold on to something when there's no bar to be holding on in the first place. Bottom line is, if you start your morning really bad assures that the rest of your day isn't going to go well. Im hoping otherwise.

Hopefully i'll head to the gym with melody later to get some good workout and that'll probably relieve some stressful thoughts.

Oh i met an old friend yesterday at klcc! Was a surprising incident really! Maybe i'll drag mel to go see her today!

MOMENTS TO PONDER.

2007-09-18T09:10:00.001-07:00

I'm missing that moment where we sat outside of the cineleisure on a warm evening. It looked as if we were just your average ordinary kids hanging out at orchard road with nothing else to do but smoke and make senseless jokes with a little bit of camwhoring, wait.. i mean a lot of camwhoring. But for a fact that it was actually our last day in singapore and we were actually savoring every moment in time before we leave to the land of un-coolness. they say a picture says a thousand words, what about feelings. i wonder how much words can possibly add up to that because im feeling really sad and i miss my cousins. I wish that we could see each other every weekend like the last time when we were young. It was only yesteryear where Yamakasi had a huge impact in our daily lives. Where Linkin Park was the tune to listen to every second. Where Pokemon was the game to play in the night when we were bored. Where New York was the future home and dream.

It's all so surreal sometimes when you think about your past. There comes happy and there goes sad. But all gone through together hand by hand.

FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND LIVE IN SINGAPORE.

2007-09-12T23:49:00.000-07:00

we barely have time for ourself anymore so this might be our last blog on shows for a while. we just got back from singapore from the ffaf show(which hands down was the best show we ever attended in our lives). i did great. so did bubu. everything that happened last saturday was perfect and beyond. we were at the venue early and sorta made friends with the management/show promoters & stuff. okay.. now its time for me to try honesty. well i forgot to bring the concert tix to the venue. and that is unforgivable. weak. -_-

just for the f of it

omg who died??

the venue. srry. my brother makes me smile like a douche.

bubu and gadis.

w/ gareth davies outside the venue. his infamous quote "smokin's bad ferr ya"

again, smokin's badd ferr yaa. the welsh peace sign.

post soundcheck w/ matt davies.

we were pretty early at the venue so the management got us in way earlier before the gates opened. and thats guaranteed front row.

THE SHOW

a mormon missionary lookalike.
they played juneau, all the rage, she drove me to daytime tv really early. it was sick though.

gareth giving a deep thought.

decent shot of kris picking his nose onstage.

without zoom. i felt darran's sweat during the entire set.

its hard to get drummer mugshots. but ryan was awesome onstage.

you dont need wind to give your hair that bouncy model look.

into oblivion (reunion).

they played roses for the dead before they left for the encore. i cried during the entire song.
matt held my hand. (bubu sang). the unbelievable happened during escape artists never die. matt handed me the mic before the song finished. "please someone help me, i'm dying here in front of you".. god i miss them already.

oh and this is my fav sequence of the pix.

matt diving to the pit.

the pit raising him up.

me raising him up.. god that was so awesome.

wax on/wax off. we have found a new religion, it's called daviesism.

welll like all great shows. this one ended too. the management was nice enough to let us backstage after the show. and when i mean us, just the three of us at the side stage after the show.. the kids were looking at us like vips.. although we weren't the only ones who came early.. well it just feels great to be recognized.

an incredibly crappy looking me & darran backstage.

bubu & matt(we will never be the same)

matt was soo going for me two week old beard. kidding. man.. thats matt davies and me. how lucky can i get.

a thumb up for me giving that sexy pout.

yupp thats the same emoscreamo ryan alright.

well, matt davies is behind us.

oh you have nice hair.

SIGNED SHIET

the tech dude gave me the setlist. i'll take it to my grave.

picks galore.

copy of tales signed. i grabbed the cd from the local dj's hand when they were giving it out onstage.

kris saying thanx in my casually dressed booklet. i actually got ten thousand other stuff signed but i cant really be taking pix of everything.

best show of our lives... so long. good night.

thank you:

Gadis, for lending us your awesome camera. without it i mean you.. all this pix would be impossible. me love you.

Megah & Alexis, without the both of you it would be merely impossible for us to even enter the show because yes Thanesh had to forget the tickets at home.
me love you both.

T&A

CHERRYBOMS, ALMOST.

2007-09-05T10:10:00.000-07:00

And today i finally got to meet and have a decent hang out session with Melody! although the weirdest part was that we hung out at the Giant Supermarket lmao. Was joined later by Fai and Thanesh. Was an afternoon of updates and a little gossip. Oh how i miss old times. yes old times where we would just hang out at the field across my place and talk, lay and sleep till like 6am. Also those times where we would sit around at the mamak restaurant and shift to the next mamak hence the mamak backpackers.

Sadly today, everyone is really busy with their own things. Even i, myself have been really busy. Cant blame anyone of us.. life just goes on. Im stil glad that all of us keep close contact whether by net or by phone. Sometimes you just need your friends to have your back at times. Family is different, we were already chosen to our families by Him. Friends on the other hand were made by us. Chosen i would say, friends who would have the same thing in common or someone who you would really have a good time talking to. Keep your friends. They are very important. Boyfriends too

ON THE OTHER HAND i just finished packing up all my things for Singapore tomorrow! Wee. Funeral For A Friend this Saturday! And i wont miss a chance for another barricade stomp. Pix promised. Mel told me one of her friend Jaja thought that we were actually going for a friend's funeral LMAO. kudos!

Just to get things cleared hehe. An old pic of them though. I know typical Emo hair. Their music though is killer.

We'll be heading down to Changi Airport on Sunday to see them depart that's if we get lucky enough like the last time. This, i hope will probably be the last show for me in 2007, cause yes... these shows drain money like shit! This is why i hate my country.. they dont give us enough good shows! Fuck! Megah said Linkin Park will be holding up a show this Nov/Oct if im not mistaken.. I SO NEED TO GO! SOMEONE PLEASE SPONSOR ME! I've been to their show in KL back in 2003. That was like 4 fucking years agoooo. It was wicked. Im just hoping they would hold up a show here! WHY SINGAPORE WHYYY! They get everything good.

Oh and i thought i should show this to the world.

Thats me and Melody. Back when we were 16.
Just so you know that we were also once innocent kids, in high school that is.

OFF TO BED NOW.

I LOVE TEPPANYAKI.

2007-09-04T09:33:00.000-07:00

Okay, shit! fakker! fcuk! im supposed to be re-constructing my damn blog but why oh why do i always have this lazy mood. So yeah, im not gonna do it today.

Today was a calming day for me. Me and bf had a nice date. The both of us were supposed to head down to Pudu Raya to get bus tix for the singapore trip on Thursday but i told Thanesh that i wasnt really feeling like having a rushing and hectic day so i decided for the both of us to go on a nice date with the typical watching a movie scene. So we headed down to KLCC since it's the nearest that you can take a train to. We started our date off by having a nice lunch which included my Chicken Teppanyaki Bento set (fave) and Thanesh had his Mie Papan. It was just a mode of good conversation and a delicious meal. We bought our movie tix for 3.30pm and it was for Rush Hour 3! The both of us practically laughed at Chris Tucker for being the funny ass that he is and holding hands in the cold cinema.

After our date we met Fai and Lex, they had just finished work and we headed to BRJ (one of the happening mamak restaurants you can find in Wangsa Maju). Sat down and chit chatted away while Ho joined us later after. What a night i tell you. Laughing hard at jokes after having your dinner is just not good for the tummy. The night ended really well although recently i've been having mishaps with my cigarettes. Example, two days ago Thanesh bought for me a pack of 20's and i ended up losing it in my own room. Sigh. I thought i had lost it completely making me buy another pack of 14's this time and i had to leave it with Ho. Another Sigh. After finding my pack of 20's back in the room i left it at a bus stop earlier today! And that had to made me buy another pack of 14's. Dammit. I think that's a sign.

Oh in other news. I've officially moved out of my apartment in Bukit Jalil of which i was sharing with Melody, Azfar, Thanesh and my sister. But yeah after nearly 5 months we have called it quits. I mean it's not like i dont want to have my own apartment, i do. But the circumstances wasnt allowing us to continue. Thanesh will be taking another room for the both of us soon. I hope it's nearer.

HERE'S TO THE GOOD MEMORIES IN ENDAH VILLA!

A MILLIONAIRE'S JOKE.

2007-09-03T09:50:00.000-07:00

one of the raddest conversation i've ever had in my life.

Ho says: I've already planned my life ahead. Im working and saving money so in the next two years i can buy a new car!

Alicia says: But you already own a car, why would you want another car. Besides you can always buy something else.

Ho says: I'm already getting a house. I see myself when im 80 years old as a HALF MILLIONAIRE.

Alicia says: Half millionaire?? thats like 500,000 ringgit! why would you want only half?!

Thanesh says: Go work in Singapore la! when you work your way to half a million you'll already be a Millionaire in Malaysia!

Ho says: Oh yeah ah! the currency is double!!

END CONVERSATION.

so yeah, never in my life i've heard that someone would like to be a half millionaire.
Ho says by the time she gets married and settle down, i'd already have kids. That makes me wonder.

PEAPOD.

2007-09-01T01:57:00.000-07:00

I hate Peas. Random. I'm the girl who eats her nasi goreng and plots all the peas in one corner hoping someone would kill them. Yes, KILL them. I seriously dont get peas. I mean it's the size of a marbel only wayyy smaller.. plus it's all green and yucks. Peas STAY AWAY FROM ME. How is it healthy eating that small disgusting thing.

On the contrary i'm more of a corn person. I love corn. Yes, especially if it's barbequed. The burned taste with that overwhelming sweetness. MMMMMM. They should serve more corn. When i was at Surabaya a last year they had this food stall serving only CORN. Not just your ordinary corn. You can even have it sprinkled with cheese and such. Now that's what i call healthy.

RAHHH i didnt go to work today. Was feeling tired and lazy. Thanesh however did go and i miss him already. Thank God i have my housekeeper. She's such a spaz lol. But she keeps me company and i thank her for that. In keeping me company i mean she's sharing all her Ghost experience DAMN. oh well i love you KAK TRI!

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY, DOUCHE.

2007-08-31T13:14:00.000-07:00

OH happy independence day to whoever. As i have once said im not patriotic. I dont love Malaysia and will never tend to, unless they give me a million bucks i might change my mind.

Everyone was out celebrating Merdeka till they made a huge fucking jam on the highway aihh. but nevertheless...i went out on merdeka eve, not to celebrate it mind you. Just going out for a good night since i've had a shitty day. We ended up at Mojo at Heritage. Praveen (Dhanya's bf) opened up a bottle so we got good seats in the house. Mojo's was mad packed. luckily i got the chance to brush up my dance moves. God i love dancing.

I was really tired and plus i had to work in the morning cause Fai lacked of workers on Merdeka. It was really surprising cause i met Suresh! and ex workmate from V source. Chatted for a while with him the headed back home taking a goddamn cab cause Dhanya had an arguement with Praveen. It was a good night out minus the crowd and the heavy smoke in the club that teared my eyes. :D

Okay, this is hilarious. at Mojo's on the way to the Ladies there's a picture frame that will kick your nuts till it explodes!

hah! yes TOILETCAM! beware when you take a piss. someone is watching over you.

YUP, WASTED INDEED.

I'm not going to post up a lot of pictures cause this is not a photo blog. I only post the amusing ones. Oh and im sorry, i really am if i havent been updating my blog. Just because im not going to type down whats going on in my everyday life, Everday. I prefer it to be more private.

I WILL NOT DIE FOR MY COUNTRY, NEVER.

2007-08-22T10:06:00.000-07:00

Malaysia's independence day is coming this 31st August. mhm just another excuse for them to make a concert and celebrate. celebrate for what you ask? for the warriors who fought just. Not for the people today. Why celebrate pricks in this generation? it's another excuse for them to drink and celebrate their idiocy. BANGSA BERJAYA.. as in the malays right? cause bangsa means race, so it's definitely gotta be pointed out to them. GO YOU! i think it should be RAKYAT BERJAYA. just to correct your malay. ahh enough of political talk. i hate it. Hari Merdeka is my least favorite day. Period.

I think skinny jeans are getting in trend. Too bad i aint skinny. Everyone's gonna look like Robin Hood soon lol.

A week more and i'll be off to Singapore, again. This time.. it's for Funeral For A Friend. It's gonna be an awesome show. Cant wait!

SINGfuckingFEST.

2007-08-13T11:43:00.000-07:00

YES, i just got back from singapore yesterday. after a whole long week there.. i was exhausted.
i had the fucking time of my life. not only that i went to singfest to catch the most amazing band ever, i fucking met them! yes i met Avenged Sevenfold! i even got to hang out with the one and only Zacky Vengeance. If anyone out there do not know A7X, i really recommend you to get a life. period.

details:

the first 2 hours at the airport waiting for them was hell. not only was i sleepy, i was feeling like this was all gonna be a waste. waiting for flights from jakarta and everything. i mean like what if we waited that long and they dont even show up. one word. DEVASTATED. but fuck! after just 3 hours we were waiting at he glass panel at the arrival hall where you can see fucking clearly who's coming out, vinnie spotted someone who looked like The Rev. and fuck yes it was him! the four of us (thanesh, me, alexis & vinnie) started shaking like mad. nervous as hell i saw Zacky V. this was a fucking dream come true. waiting 3 minutes ALL of them finally came out and thanesh approached them first. i hugged m. shadows and my stupid tears couldn't hold it in. i had to cry. hugging matt with his awesome body my face was pressed againts his arm pits, couldnt help but smell! and it was the most amazing smell ever. i know.. im such a freak. after a picture with him i headed for Synyster Gates, oh how he was such a rockstar with his shades and everything. leaving him aside my longtime dream came true as i spotted my beloved Zacky V. fuck my tears was so obvious that i couldnt hide it anymore from him. he was overwhelmed. i was excited. took the most amazing picture with him as his head leaned towards mine, his hands pressing my shoulders. i felt as if i was a queen in his arms.

after all the picture taking, surprisingly we were the only fans there (TSKTSK TO SINGAPOREANS) we walked them out to their van. i was walking behind zacky,

literally walking behind him

again too shy to approach him although after everthing. he actually stopped and turned back to fucking talk to me, ME. the first question he asked was "so where are you from?"
my heart just froze up answering him while stuttering. having a decent conversations with him i introduced him to alexis and told him to kickfuckingass at the show, his reply "i'll definitely will"
my conversation with him made me miss taking a pic with The Rev but heck it was all worth it.
seeing him leave in the van he gave us a metal sign with his hand at the window :D.

m. shadows.

synyster gates.

my one and only zacky vengeance.

johnny christ.

that has to be jaw dropping.

although the show was a bittersweet experience, and what i mean by bittersweet.. singfest starts at 1pm till 11pm yes with the amount of bands playing they have to have that much time.

set of bands that played:

1.Great Spy Experiment
2.One Buck Short (Malaysia Boleh!)
3.Crowned King
4.Cobra Starship
5.The Academy Is..
6.Gym Class Heroes
7.Avenged Sevenfold
8.MXPX
9.The Noisettes
10.Hinder

yes 10 fucking band played although i didnt stay for Hinder, why? you ask. EXACTLY.
through the six bands that played we were tough at the barricade, yes because we were at fort canning at 4am. of course we would get front row, it's all about the front row experience.

the stage set.

sitting down having a cigarette while waiting for the first band to start performing.

although the fucking barricade broke even before avenged started playing, i managed to stick around from the side and witnessed the whole set which was mind blowing.

here's something to die for waiting.

pix!

ONE BUCK SHORT.

COBRA STARSHIP!

gabe doing his decaydance.

ryland loved my maiden shirt. hence, his favorite band.

anal anyone lmao! kidding.

what happens when they played bring it(snakes on a plane) and all of them who contributed to that song itself was on the same tour!

travis of gym class at that time havent arrived, so alex bassist for the academy is.. took his place and did it hands down perfect. and william of the academy is.. also sang his part.

THE ACADEMY IS..

GYM CLASS HEROES.

AVENGED SEVENFOLD!

the fucking barricade broke before they even played but i still got a good view and watched them played from start to the end.

MXPX.

and so these are the bands that are worthy to be posted up. the aftermath was sick, with sore feet and bruises. all worth it.
if i had to give up everything to go through that day again, i would. period.

LOVE NOTES TO HOLD HIGH.

2007-06-22T13:13:00.000-07:00

to be honest i just realised that i blog reallly late. example it's like 4am now and im supposed to be sleeping.

being alone at home kinda sucks, i thought this would be the ME time for me but still, i cant live alone. woke up at about 12pm and i lazed around watching tv till like 5pm. met fai after that to go to giant hypermarket to get some ingredients for the cake im gonna bake. yeap the occasion is thanesh's 21st birthday, yeap my bubu is getting old indeed but i love him. he doesnt know im baking for him.

he made me really mad when i texted him to wish him a happy birthday, i was late by like 50 minutes but i had a really good reason. im working on his birthday card that im gonna give him. i bought this really hugeeeee card at memory lane for like 22 bucks. the card now is filled with love poems, yes i know its supposed to be a bday card but i cant help but express the love i have for him.

i was cracking my head on what poem to write, till i thought of the beautiful poem shane west read to mandy moore in a walk to remember.

"Love is always patient and kind..."

Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous. Love
is never boastful or conceited...

It is never rude or selfish...It does not take offense, and it
is not resentful.

Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins but
delights in truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to
hope, and to endure whatever comes.
~1 Corinthians 13:4-8

well its actually a verse from the bible instead of a poem. but watching that movie was so beautiful that the poem/scripture was the highlight of the whole thing for me. i'd love to recite that on my wedding day. okay back to the where i was. thanesh pissed me off cause he said that i forgot his bday. i've really been working hard for his homecoming/birthday and he dare say that to me. it was heartbreaking. but yadayadayada we made up and everything is alright now.

i really wish i could make it a big celebration for him, i mean c'mon he's turning 21. but yeah i guess a small me and him time would do the both of us some good since he's been away for so long.

on the other side, my sister called from langkawi. she seems to be having the time of her life. she brought some good news for me too. she bought me tons of cigarettes and flavored ones too! wee!
damn old habits die hard. cant wait till she gets back.

NEVER TOO SWEET.

2007-06-21T12:14:00.000-07:00

i was told to be a sour plum at my young days. mom always said i never really knew how to smile which was true because looking back at old photo albums my smile was more of a sour frown like i have just eaten some young oranges. but that didn't make me the sad dark kid in 1990. i was a really joyous little lad, i had everything i wanted/needed. the little things used to make me so blissful like the time daddy would always take us out on Sunday's be it at a mall or anywhere else, that would be the day we would look forward too. or when daddy would call from work when he was far away from us, it would be the most delighted conversation that we have from him asides daddy asking us whether we have finished our homework or not *shrugs*.

the absent of a dad really took an impact on both me and my sister. we didn't have anyone to look up to anymore. no more good advisable talks, no more daddy telling me i can only get a boyfriend once im done with school, no more waiting at the front door because daddy is coming home from work. everything changed drastically for the three of us.

it took a year after his death for everything to sink in and start moving on with life especially for mummy. it was hard looking at my mom sitting on the dining table with pouring tears on her cheeks. so i ask myself, what is happiness? it's something one can feel so empowered by and it could all be taken away in a glimpse. to write it down honestly, i would give anything in the world, anything just to be that sour plum kid who couldn't smile.

i mean not that life has not gone good. with the presence of uncle arild (mom's soon to be groom), my mother has really gotten her happiness back. of course nothing could compare to the joy daddy gave but still there is room for one more. she deserves it more than anyone. the bullshit in life that she has gone through, being a foreigner in the land where her kids grew up it's not the easiest where life takes you. being the role model that she is caring and nurturing for me and my sister, nothing can give back for her sacrifices that she has made. how can a person forget the simplest thing in life that gave us life? it's just so easy for some people to put their parents in an old folks home. asking someone else to take care for the ones who have taken care and given us so much to be where we are today. how is that possible in ones mind to even take that as an option? it's so disconcert.

i would give anything to be with my mother right now.

APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED.

2007-06-21T09:39:00.000-07:00

like mother like daughter

i miss my mother, i've never really expressed how much i miss her till now. it's sad that i dont see her as much now cause she's always off to bali. but yeah, i cant stop her. she's really happy now living in bali. i'd do anything to make her happy.

okay, i know. no excuse for the lack of updates. seriously. i forgot the damn password to my blogspot account and it sucks that i have too many passwords to memorise.

UPDATES.

1. im all alone at home since my sister is away for vacation in langkawi where by my parents as usual are at bali. thanesh went back to johor for his 21st birthday but was asked to come sooner cause his mom fell down and sprained her ankle. but to think about it, this is my first time after a really long time being alone at home. maybe this is the time where i can find serenity. it's been a while.

2. if you all didnt know, i have my own apartment now. yes MY own apartment which im sharing with a couple of really good friends. well of course nothing beats home but yeah i somehow feel more independent.

3. im highly addicted to sudoku now thanks to fai.

4. i still have my smoking habits which i said i would on my birthday and yet to have stopped.

5. i'm more happy with the condition of my hair than i was before.

6. i can bake now :D.

7. i have less friends to depend on.

other than that nothing really great has happened since fall out boy on march 2007.

BODY MODIFICATIONS.

2006-09-11T08:46:00.000-07:00

Since the age of 15 i've been dying to get myself inked or in other words "tattooed". It has been a life goal of mine, but sighh it's been 3 years and still no ink. It's not that i'm afraid or anything, heck i want pain. But yes i'm not them rich kids. Getting a tatt done here in kl would cost a fortune. I regret not getting myself a tatt when i was in Bali. Other than that i'm not too sure on the design i want. C'mon this is gonna be the body art that you're gonna take to your grave. I dont want a design that i might regret later on and the art has to be special and meaningful. If not? why get one in the first place. I've had a few ideas in mind but still, i'm thinking 10 years ahead.. will i still adore this tatt that i once chose? it's tough.

Other than fucking tattoos, i'm still working on my piercings. I NEED MORE. so far my side lip is getting kinda old and boring, so as my labret. I need another side done, and i want it exactly like Sonny Moore's.
After that's done i'm gonna work on getting a monroe or at least a medusa done. But i'd still prefer a monroe. Sad but i only have my left lobe gauged, so next plan is also to get my right lobe gauged so it'll at least look even. Reason why i didnt get the right one done was because out of all the piercings gauging hurt the most. C'mon i was having headaches for the whole night. Well It's been more than a year so i think i can handle another lobe.
NEXT would be my darn septum! i've been dying for this one since i had done my tounge a couple years back, was gonna get it but i thought i would get my lips done first. Thinking about the septum, it's either a monroe or a septum cause i dont want my face to be too messed up with metals. So both of them are still under consideration. CHOICES CHOICES.
Grr.

THIS IS NOT A NECESSITY.

HEART AND MEMORIES.

2006-09-10T14:28:00.000-07:00

Heart is out! i've been dying to watch that movie when i was in surabaya, but couldnt make it cause most of my cousins there had already seen it so it would definitely be a waste for them. Plus there wasnt much time since we had just gotten back from bali.
Aside that it's out already! here in malaysia! i feel like hugging malaysia now. Seriously the whole plot of the story is beautiful, as rinne had told us the whole story.. but i want to watch it with my own eyes rather than someone else telling you the story.

Talking about heart, Dinie is obsessed with the song. Well who can blame him, i'm obsessed myself. Everyone out there should try hearing the song! watch the vid on youtube and search for it. The song was sung by Irwansyah & Acha. Magnificent actors and singers.
Okay, back to the point.. Me, Alexis, Jan & Dinie was singing the song on repeat the whole time.. it has become a virus now. Not only that after singing Heart, we turned up the volume to sing 'memories' by eisley (another beautiful one). Jan and I practically memorised the whole thing and he would do the high pitching. Yeah, our band is weird. We might look all hardcore and stuff but we do actually sing ballads and some indie songs, whats even weirder is our band name BAZOOKA PEPEK! YES you may laugh now. All created by fai. We were browsing through some profiles on myspace and saw this dude with a display name of "SHOTGUN&PUPPET", smartass fai turned that name around and voila! we have BAZOOKA PEPEK. All hail BP.

Other than that, Dhanya was down today and Gajen had brought his car along so all of us decided on a roadtrip! walao, we went to Mini Genting and had fun there although it was already 2am. Sitting down at the malay shop having super ring&cheezels stuffed with ramly burgers and can drinks. On a contrary to that we had disgusted outselves with phone porn. And this time it was a different kind of porn, there was this mofo with a fucking huge dick! the size of your whole arm. UNBELIEVABLE, but t'was true. Making jokes that he cant even wear shorts going out and what if he does go out and he has a hardon. LIFE IS TOUGH WHEN YOU HAVE A HUGE AND LONG PENIS. Dammit he couldnt even fully insert his manhood into the VAGINA, only half la weh! Okay enough dirty talk. period.

Teasing Gajen that he was a bapok by night we actually named him Gina, originated from Vagina. HAHA, earlier we had a stroll around LORONG HAJI TAIB where you can find all the bapoks you want. FUCKING SKIMPY DRESSES, HUGE boobs, clear skin and a manhood.
What more can you ask for? LMFAO!

One thing i have learnt from today,

LIFE'S A BITCH.

BREAKING GLASS IS BETTER THAN BREAKING HEARTS.

2006-09-08T09:56:00.000-07:00

Today could be the most saddest day ever. Vivian broke up with Jan, could there be a better way to solve these matters other than breaking hearts that weren't meant to be broken. I pity Jan in this one. He doesnt deserve to be treated like this, somehow i totally feel his pain and i could've just punched the wall after hearing all that was going on. I dont want to be the kecoh kecoh one in this matter but what was i to do? let my friend get hurt just like that? i just dont understand some people, for no good reason you call for a breakup? it was total bullshit.

Keep a calm mind Alicia. I have to keep telling myself that from now on, i mean Vivian is still my friend and i do love her dearly. The whole night was just painted in sadness, nothing beats by losing your loved one. Well i have felt it before but it wasnt a love partner. I lost my dad 5 years ago and my grandfather a year ago, it wasnt easy at all.

In this case i had an epiphany that your girlf and boyf may come and go, but friends stay. They'll always be there for you no matter what. I'll never ever leave my friends, they're Diamonds to me.. too precious. Although i have this special Diamond that shines differently than the others, Thanesh of course. He keeps me sane, thank God.
During this whole month, i think i have gotten wiser in many ways. I have Alexis to thank for that.. she's like the realist among all, her advices are strong and i'll always keep that in mind.
Do not ever go looking for that special someone, without even searching and by waiting patiently he/she will come by him/herself. It is in so many ways true..

I'll just pray tonight that God will protect Jan and show him the right path, help him find peace and tranquility. He really needs it. Be there for him in times of need and keep him away from harm. I pray this to all of my precious friends, and not forgetting my family. Amen.

SHE SAID SHE'S WORKING HER BUTT OFF.

2006-09-07T08:30:00.000-07:00

Just finished watching ANTM, was quite satisfied with the photoshoots. Shocking that it wasnt an elimination round. Dammit, they'll all be heading toward London in the next episode. I was just wondering if London was somewhere fashion was a huge thing. At least if they headed off to Japan, i would understand. Oh well, till then.. although i already know who's gonna win. Malaysia's tele sucks.. so lambat one. I bet everyone in the whole world is already watching the next season and we're still stuck with the old one.

Okay, so nothing special happened today as i didnt go to class because i woke up darn late.
I fell fakking guilty for missing another class. It's okay.. i'll explain everything to the lecturer once i get the chance.. that's why i'm trying to type out real fast so i can head off to bed soon!
Jan came by as usual again today, after an hour of playing Adventure Quest, headed off to the television to catch Oprah Winfrey. Didnt realise i was so tired that i slept not even half of the show. Woke up with fai ringing in my ear asking me to wake up! And you know how much i hate people disturbing me in my sleep. Annoys the shit out of me. Waking up to watching Bawang Merah, Bawang Putih was nice but i hate it when the action part comes in and they put it on slow mo.

Alexis came back with her usual story telling of how work went, this time it was quite funny since she got transfered to Bangsar. She's got fags working with her. They seem nice although i havent met them.

I'll probably edit more later. It's getting really late and i'm off to bed.

grr, i really hope i can make it to S'pore this saturday to catch a few S'pore bands playing some charity gig. Levan will be there so i bet it'll be hella fun.

GOOD NIGHT TO MYSELF, AGAIN.

VICTORY.

2006-09-06T12:28:00.000-07:00

wah, it's 3.23 am and i'm so proud of myself.
HA-HA yesss, my layout is finally done and i'm really digging it.
i love ducks, especialy ducks with a sense of humour...geddit? LMAO.
shitt son it took me like 3 hours just to get my ducks?!
what is happening to this world? or the real question should be...what is happening to Alicia?!

All of a sudden, an obsession with ducks? Dinosaurs should have never been extinct. Now i'm gonna cry myself a river.

GOOD NIGHT TO MYSELF.

A DAY OF CONFUSED SEXUALITY.

2006-09-06T10:12:00.000-07:00

So jan had his hair dyed striking red yesterday. He came to my place around 10 am so that the both of us could head to Sg. Wang to get his hair colored.. and as one might expect, few things stopped us from leaving soon.

1. Jan had a call from Vivian (his gf lah) or i think maybe they were chatting on msn while i was getting dressed to kil (!). And yes, she said she was gonna come to my place to hang. She came like half and hour later and we headed off to Shareezma (the mamak restaurant which is a 1 minute walk from my place) and had brunch ( breakfast+lunch).

2. Fai called and said he was gonna come to meet us up after school which ended at 1am. Waiting for like almost an hour for fai! he was still at bladdy school! I was pissed! but yeah he came and i couldnt really be mad at him cause yeah, school ma!

After a rather delicious bruch fai decided that he wanted to tag along to Sg. Wang, so we had to waitttt again for him to get dressed at my place with my clothes (yes fai fits my clothes, even my jeans!). Thank heavens we could make a move after that. See what kind of things that delays this, Damn malas right? waiting for the bus was a painful one since the sun was scortching hott. Okay skip the trip to Sg Wang and let's get to business. Vivian had said that there was this saloon at the ground floor which she usually goes to was good (Kimary Saloon). Point taken we were searching for it non-stop, i could have gotten blisters just searching for that bladdy place. On the way there, oif course we looked around for a good and reasonable place, cause jans budget was like 100 RM. The first place that we had a look was at this okok kind of saloon lah. Dyeing would cost him 150RM at least! but thank God the dude said they didnt have the colour we wanted. I was already having doubts cause the customers there was like those old aunties. After a few saloon searching we stopped at this place which-i forgot-the-name, and it was perfect! cause they had a display of the colours we wanted for the hair.

Being in the saloon felt awkward cayse everyone and i mean EVERYONE was staring at this two malay dude and one eurasian girl, but i was like who gives a Fak! They said that his hair would only cost 80RM which is soo perfect since budget you know lah. While waiting for jan like OMFG it took sooo long, two hours the least. Me and Fai got so damn bored we walked our way around there and was acting like such a baffoonnns! Getting burgers and playing FIREBALL lmao!

Results: HAIR WAS SO DAMN FAKKING AWESOME! but the red wasnt as what we expected but still RED! it was like an angel LMAO!
after the whole thing was done i finally got to eat my waffles that i had been dreaming about to eat since god-knows-when! I dont know why though i love it so much, Fai and Jan said they tasted like normal waffels you could get by the train station. Well idontcare! i still got them and they were yummy!

That day ended nicely since i havent hang'd with my friends like that in a long time. I mean dont get me wrong, i hang with my friends practically everyday. But it's been quite sometimes since we had our little lepaking in malls and such. It was a nice day for me.

A WEEK OF DESPAIR.

2006-08-29T01:57:00.000-07:00

Dammit, here i am once again.. this day could be like the saddest for me.
MHM. Thanesh is probably on his way back to j.b and i'm already missing him! Cant blame him.. he's already been here in kl for two months, he must miss his family dearly. UGHH, a week of despair without him here.

We had a quarrel yesterday night over some things that should not be mentioned here *aheemm* and it was so saddening. I hate it when we fight, well actually the one mostly fighting was me. That's one thing about him, he never fails to console me and being the comforting boyf that he is, but sometimes i wished he knew what he did wrong instead of me being mad and him having to ask me what he did. I just feel angry when it has to be like this. Maybe it's my fault, i shouldnt overreact over small things like this.. I'm trying my best for this relationship.
But i realise how this makes us stronger, everytime after an arguement.. it'll just end up to small kisses that puts a smile on my face. I never fail to love him everyday of my life, i want to spend my breathing moments with him till we get married and have kids of our own. :D:D
i miss you dearly.<3

Aside that, i just read Gwen's blog which was so heartbreaking. It was her birthday Goddammit, i feel bad for not being there for her..if only we didnt have to live so far apart. Then at least i could walk up right to her house and cheer her up. If only.

The house is getting quiet, my mom hasnt been home for about three days and when she finally came home this morning... she was gonna go out again waking me up in the morning asking to send her to the taxi stand. She told me she was going out with a friend and that she'll be home late. Sighh, i knoww i should let my mother have a little fun once in a while.
I just realised it's the rainy season, yeah, has been raining every evening. I used to love the rain but now it's just a pain in the ass.

AGUSTUS.

2006-08-22T01:13:00.001-07:00

Realising that i only blog like once every few months, i officially state that i am no blogger.
Yes, it's tough writing your thoughts down when you dont even feel it's like worth it.
Hopefully some people might just read or pretend to care. Let's start with this, after months of planning and delay i finally met Gwen! yes, the Dinda i never had. Was hella fun since we were in a big mall. It was a day of non-stop gossip'ing you can say. Never actually had a real friend like that, and ++ i met her online dammit, how awesome is that. Of course we cam whore'd the whole way with a few good pics but i'll post them up later or something.

On the other hand, starting from next week, classes are gonna be hella busy. I'm so afraid i wont even have time for my friends anymore.. but hopefully all is good.. it is for the best.
At least i dont have to bum around anymore. I wanna do something with my life instead of just lepaking which never does any good.

okay i'm lazy now.

MENGEJAR MATAHARI.

2006-05-01T05:35:00.000-07:00

i am officially the most boring-est person you can ever be with.

i practically spent my whole entire week at home doing nothing but sleep and watch tv.

well partly it's because i couldnt walk, but thats not the point.

my feet has been fine for a couple of days now but im still stuck at home doing nothing but blog.

it's labour day and it sucks.period.

im about to pleasure myself by watching some indonesian films.

i have three to choose from.

- mengejar matahari

-catatan akhir sekolah

-alexandria

hopefully one of these movies can gimme a good time.

mengejar matahari would be about a tale of this bunch of friends who grew up together and fall apart as they get older because of a girl. yeah one of those typical yet touching story.

well one of them dies anyway.

catatan akhir sekolah is a fun movie, duhh cause marcel chadrawinata is in it!

also about a bunch of good friends in high school trying to make a documentary about their school so they can leave as heroic seniors.

a few ups and downs in the movie too.

of course girls would be involved.

the ending gets better anyways.

alexandria, now thats kind of a romantic flick. marcel is in it too!

about two bestfriends boy and girl.

boy falls for girl. boy and girl grows up together.

boy moves to london. comes back to find girl is with boys really good friend. get me?

a real controversy.

but the ending isnt how i expected it to be.

sigh.

hopefully one of these movies can help me get through the day.

CONTROL MYSELF.

2006-04-30T10:32:00.000-07:00

i apologise for my missing in action.have been fooling around with Dhanya for the past week and a few more to come.its been awesome.

i'm actually feeling so LOST these couple of days that i even lost track of the day.

my feet has been killing me this past week, wasnt as easy as it seems.

i had to skip a couple of classes which is BAD cause there are probably tons of assignments which i dont know of.

i know i should be really concerntrating hard on my university and everything, but for some reason its really getting to me.

right now i even feel i enrolled in the wrong course.

i really wanna pursue in advertising, it has been a dream of mine.

but yeah it too bloody expensive. the course itself cost about 30,000 smackers while the one im taking now is like 13+, wayyy cheaper.

sigh-

dont really wanna talk about studies right now.

work even sucks.i've been with starbucks for about 2 months now, the pay sucks balls.

could you imagine that my first month's pay was actually 250 bucks. i know WTF is that right.

it could be my fault too, im not that keen on working as you can see.

roger was right..i must be more productive.

or else its a dead end for me.

i really wanna talk to GADIS.

probably she could offer me some great advice.

i know like, what the hell do i need advice for? and plus from someone who is younger than me.

yeah lotsa people might think that but me and Gadis go wayy back.

heck she's probably experienced more to life than i have.

it's tough you know leading Gadis's life.

i mean the pressure in schools at singapore are way more depressing than malaysia.

i find malaysia's education to be soo laid back, thats why there are not much of smart people here.

gah!

i have to do some picking up with my life.the bits and pieces.

everything counts.

Dinda.<3

2006-04-10T22:19:00.001-07:00

Okay so i admit that i'm not much of a blogger.
duhh, i think my last post was like months ago..
I guess i only blog when i'm in the mood or so.

But on the other hands, yeah registering for unitar was not an easy task. It took me like a week before i was even registered.
Plus i'm broke, a dry pocket doesnt actually bring you anywhere especially when you need the benjamins to at least pay for the transportation and everything.
Sometimes i wish Malaysia would just be as advance as Singapore is. Like c'mon that small Island doing better than this hugee Country.
You have definitely got to be kidding me.
Enough of praising Singapore or Gadis's face will explode gaga.

I'm supposed to meet Gwen today but yeah the bloody fucking unitar rescheduled my classes so i gotta go in like 15 minutes.
Was so excited to meet her. I guess this weekend will do. HOPEFULLY.

I owe her two ice-creams now.
<3<3>

THE HATE AND LACK OF IT.

2006-01-24T09:17:00.000-08:00

Today could be the most suckiest day of your life or it could be worse.
Searching the whole day yesterday for a job wasn't easy believe me, i went to being "the enthusiast girl looking for a job" to "fuck why am i doing this again?"

It wasnt easy, when can people stop being such a racist and just be open to any employees. It's like one after another the same person goes " we only want chinese". Okay first of all, my face comes as close as looking like a chinese. I mean cant they just put it out in the sign that says what they want or if they could stop being so picky and just take me in.
After a long afternoon of searching a job in Times Square, i finally moved to Sungei Wang and for one last try i went in radioactive and walahhh, they took me in and i was supposed to start today.

Here comes the best part, excited for work today i actually was one hour early. Having a cigarette while waiting was no biggie for me, it was only an hour. YUH, i quit my job on the first day of work! i didnt actually quit, i just ran off work on lunch break.

reasons;

number one;
the minute i entered work, i already felt as if i wasnt welcomed.

number two;
no one gave two fucks to tell me what to do, and when there was customers i was lost as hell. When i did a fucking mistake thats when they took the initiative to scold me and tell me what to do. First of all, any employees in any type of outlets or whatever should get a briefing on what they should do, but nooo what do i get??? a group of them talking in chinese when they knew i couldnt speak that languange. It made me feel so left out in a way.

number three;
the work is just too much for me to handle. From the stocks to the customers nagging that they want a bigger size. BOOHOO. With the lack of good mood, i told the customers there was no size left. I know its a cruel thing to do but hey...when lici is not in a good mood..thats what you get.

three good reasons why i left.

LETS POP THIS BALLOON.

2005-11-21T02:59:00.000-08:00

HOORAY TO ME FOR CREATING A BLOG SO THAT EVERYYONNNEE CAN READ WHAT HAPPENS IN THE DAILY LIFE OF WHO ELSE?! ALICIAAAAA.

I WANT TO OFFICIALLY CONGRATULATE MYSELF.

CONGRATULATIONS ALICIA, YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN!